The Blessings of Family

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

---Psalm 127:3-5

I believe that God chose the family as the design of his community of faith. In a time when the traditional family is under assault, it is the Biblical command found in Genesis 2:24 that declares:

Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

God's original plan was for the husband and wife to become one flesh after leaving the nest of one's own parents. "Leave" and "cleave" are the two operative verbs here. Marriage is the one place where the sexual joining of a man and woman allow for a unity of spirit. At this point in the biblical story the first couple are "naked" and there is no "shame". This was the way the world was supposed to be before the Fall. When sin entered the world through Adam and Eve, this all changed. Suddenly, when we discover the knowledge of good and evil we are embarrassed by our own nakedness. Ever notice how little children love to run around without clothes? Parents panic and scramble to invoke the proper controls for such behavior.

So how do we teach our children? Deuteronomy 6:1-9 instructs us in this:

¹ "Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the ordinances which the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it; ² that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life; and that your days may be prolonged. ³ Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them; that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. ⁴ "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD; ⁵ and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. ⁶ And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; ⁷ and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ⁸ And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Verse 3 emphasize that we are to be "careful to do them". Children learn more by our behavior than they ever learn from what we "tell" them. The centrality of putting the Lord first in everything is the First Commandment. It really is that simple. And, there in lies the difficulty. God is to be first in everything we do. That is why we are told to teach this "diligently" to our children. The primary responsibility for the spiritual development of the child is upon the parent. It is no wonder that those who like to criticize the youth minister for the lack of his or her own child's spiritual development will fail to acknowledge their own responsibility in this area. The values of each family are taught either positively or negatively in every family. These values are not just learned on Sunday morning. Honesty, integrity, diligence, trustworthiness are the values that we would all want to inculcate within our own children; but, we have to show those values in our own lives first. When we preach one thing and do something else we create potential hypocrites. Children are the first to detect the smell of hypocrisy within the family. It is any surprise that when parents have more passion for football games than for reading the Bible with one's children, that the children just don't "get it"?

Spirituality is a decision not just an emotion. We all miss the mark and make mistakes. But, when we keep the center of our focus upon the kingdom first, every decision we make flows from that faith perspective. Sometimes we have to confess our mistakes and let people know that we are truly sorry. But, the irony of all this is that when a Christ follower discovers this truth and puts it into effect in one's own life, the results are blessings that provides a peace that is beyond understanding. If you don't believe this, just try it! I know that you be amazed at what the power of God can do through you.