Marriage Thinking

Marriage has been on my mind a lot this week. It was the foundational illustration for my sermon on “Faithfulness Is a Call to Covenant.” It was the subject of discussion by the woman I sat with in the hospital who told me of her first husband’s debilitating illness and eventual death as we sat waiting for the outcome of the operation on her current husband. It was on my mind as I prepared for a premarital counseling appointment and met with a married couple that found themselves in serious disagreement. “Marriage and Divorce” was the subject of one of my favorite writer’s blog this week, and a subject discussed as church leaders met to pray. I found my heart touched deeply as a very dear brother shared with our men’s class the commitment of marriage that would day after day care for his wife that is slowly forgetting who he is. And then that night one of our daughters called and told us that a date had been set for their wedding. It was with this backdrop that I could not sleep, for although I was excited for my daughter and her future husband, I found myself thinking about what I would tell her if I had the chance to share with her the things that I feel makes a marriage work. I decided I would have to include these ten:

1. Love – not just an attraction and affection, but real agape love lived as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
2. Commitment – to a binding covenant relationship that simply will not be broken (Mat. 19:4-6).
3. Forgiveness – that would imitate how God forgave in Christ (Eph. 4:32).
4. Friendship – to the point of laying down one’s life for another (John 15; Eph. 5).
5. Mutual Submission – from love and respect for one another as compared with the relationship of Christ and the Church (Eph. 5:21ff)
6. Seeking the best for each other – daily living the Golden Rule (Phil 2:1-5; Mat 7:12).
7. Communication – always speaking the truth in love (Eph 4:15).
8. Sharing – giving of oneself first and everything else will follow (2 Cor. 8:5).
9. Trusting – like a baby trusting her mother (1 Thes. 2:7)
10. Faithfulness – of a shared relationship of two people’s faith in God at the core of their faithful relationship with each other (Malc. 2:13-16)

I don’t know that this is anywhere near all inclusive, but it is a good start on a great marriage. I pray this for my daughter and for every marriage I can influence. And I am so thankful to experience the development of these in my marriage as it has grown stronger and more meaningful and fulfilling through the years.

David